Burger King Has Been Bought!
3G Capital has purchased the second rate place fast food chain for a cool $4 Billion. Yes, that’s billion with a ‘B.’ Now, I know the question you’re asking: Who is 3G Capital? I have no idea. But obviously it’s not a Recession In This Bitch for them! Damn, who just has $4 Billion to [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
WTF Moment of the Day
A nanny has gotten sentenced to eight years for beating a baby. What The Fuck? Now trust me, I fully believe in beatin the kids. But not like this. This is ri-damn-diculous! You don’t do that shit to a baby. Why take a job where you watch kids if you don’t like kids? I know [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
GM Reports $1 Billon+ Profit
General Motors have clawed themselves out of near extinction and have boosted a $1.33 billion profit. That’s wonderful. Good for you. Now Give Us Our Fuckin Money Back! Don’t think folks forgot yall received all that damn welfare! And just like folks who on welfare start payin taxes to help other folks who are welfare [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
Damn!
A woman received $198,000 for a mistaken mastectomy. The doctors had wrongfully diagnosed her with breast cancer. Are you serious?! For $200,000 you can have both my titties and my right pinky toe! It’s a Recession In This Bitch! I gotsta get paid!
Back to Top | Comments Off
Damn The Post Office!
Even though it’s a Recession In This Bitch for us common folk, the Post Office has decided to once again raise rates! Shit, we already gotta pay $0.44 for a fuckin sticker! If this shit go up to $.50 a stamp, I aint mailin shit! Mothafuckas is gonna have to come to my house to [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
Question of the Day
Do you know why the news keeps spouting how unemployment claims are down? Because so many individuals are losing their benefits. If they can’t claim, then that’s one less individual making claims, making it appear as though unemployment is declining when in actuality it’s rising. This is how the government fucks over the common wo/man. [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
Twilight Is Fuckin Up Romantic Times
Well, aint this about a bitch? Folks are reporting that the Twilight books and movies are fuckin up with folks relationships. And I’m not talkin about teenager girls. I’m talkin about housewives, like this bitch: This bitch is in her fuckin fifties! I get how the stories can be appealing. I like them too despite [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
More Iranian Threats…
Apparently Iran is saying they’ve produced more enriched uranium. In other words, they’re telling the U.N. “Fuck you with a donkey dick!” Can I be frank for a moment? Um, is anybody else bored with these threats? I’m just sayin. That crazy mothafucka leadin they country woulda done some shit already if he was able [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
Who Done It?
A postal worker’s body was found in a dumpster in California. Dun dun dunnnn. Who’s mail did she fuck up? See, I been tryin to tell yall! It’s a recession in this bitch! She didn’t bring somebody’s unemployment check on time and they fucked her ass up! They went postal…on the postal worker. (Tasteless of [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off
Fired For Fuckin!
Now you know this shit could only take place in Florida. The number one state on our Top 5 Dumbass States List. By the title, you should have known it was gonna be in Florida. Florida, the Fuckery Capital of the World! They should start sellin shirts that say that. It would put Disney World [...]
Back to Top | Comments Off